Iron Butterfly: Kael's POV
by pantrycakeless
Summary: What is Kael thinking in Iron Butterfly? Why is he so angry all of the time? Here is what he may have thought during captivity with Thalia. Rated T for Violence and some mentions of Torture.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Iron Butterfly or its characters. They are owned by Chanda Hahn.

A/N: Please Review and give me feedback. This is my first story so I need critiques.

Kael's POV:

I awoke in dark, dank room with **all** of my weapons missing. When I say all I do not mean just the obvious weapons that anyone can see and take I'm talking about the knife I keep in my left boot, the poisoned dart that's hidden **in **my belt, etc. I felt beyond naked and strangely lightweight without all of my equipment. I took stock of the room I was in by pacing around it and running my hands along the walls. There was nothing interesting about the room, no windows, no weapons, just some filthy straw in one corner and a door in one wall. _'How am I going to get out of here with just my wits and fists? Guess I'll just have to bide my time._'

Then the screaming started somewhere above me. The screams sounded more animalistic than human. As the hours passed the screaming eventually stopped but whether that was to the voice giving out or the voice in question was killed remained to be seen. More hours passed but still no one came near my door. So I continued to wait until I heard a voice outside of my room.

"Where is she? Where is Cammie? What have you done with her?" I heard a raspy, female voice say.

"She's dead. The Raven was very upset that you were not able to play with him last night and so he took it out on your precious Cammie. So if you really must blame someone for her death than blame yourself for being unavailable to him last night." A callous male voice responded back. I could tell that this news shocked the woman/girl because she stayed quiet for some time before she responded.

"YOU LIE!" She screamed back and I could hear a thunk on a door that wasn't mine.

"Do I? Don't take my word for it. When the Raven sends for you tonight you'll see her mangled body, just as you have for all the others. And you will see the Raven tonight." After these words the woman/girl lost all of her fight. Footsteps led to my door and a hand pushed an unappetizing plate of something through a flap in my door.

Once these footsteps left and a door closed somewhere in what I now knew to be hallway the woman/girl started sobbing. I knew that if someone didn't get her under control soon that she would be lost to hysterics.

"Pull yourself together. The only way you'll survive this place is if you keep it together." I said. These were the first words I had said in so long that my own voice came out raspy and gruff.

"They killed her…they killed her and it's all my fault. If I had been stronger or braver, she would still be alive." The woman/girl replied. I could tell that no matter what I said to her that she would believe what that man had told her: that this Cammie was dead because she couldn't take another beating.

"They'd have killed her anyway. Either tonight or later. You know this and there is no use in dwelling in the past." A different voice replied. This one distinctly male and also rough as if he hadn't spoken in a long time as well.

At his words I could tell that the woman/girl pulled herself together. What I wasn't prepared for was her continued conversation. I thought that the grief of losing her friend would keep her silent for a while.

"What is your name?" She asked me.

"Does it matter?" I replied.

"If we are going to die down here than I would at least like to know your name." She said this so matter-of-factly. As if her own death or mine was a past event, her attitude shocked me into replying.

"Kael."

"I'm Thalia." She told me.

As if my answering her one question gave her leave to know me, she started asking me question after question.

"Who are you? Are you someone important? Why were you drugged for so long?" I decided that since I'd already answered one of her questions that I might as well make conversation, I replied:

"I'm no one important and they know that if I ever get out of here that I will kill them all."

"Can you really do it? Can you do it and can you take us with you when you escape?" She asked. I knew that I couldn't give her false hope but at the same time I found myself silently vowing to get her out here at all costs.

"No." I simply replied.

Then I got a crazy mad idea. An idea so insane that who but me would ever think it, much less try to pull it off. But first I needed my guard's attention and since we had only been speaking in whispers I decided noise was my best option.

I started to beat my plate against the wall but that was pointless for it made so little noise. Then I looked over at the door and realized it would echo any sound if something were to be thrown or hit against it. So I did what any sane person would do, I started to beat my plate against my door.

"You cannot break the lock with your plate." The Thalia stated as if she had tried once or twice with little success. I needed more noise so I started to throw myself against the door.

"Stop or they're going to beat us again." The male voice said.

"I'm trying to get their attention."

"What?! You want to be beaten. He wants them to beat us, Thalia."

I heard her small voice again, saying: "Please stop. I can't take another beating."

It was so sad and resigned that my silent vow was coupled with rage against the monsters who would beat anyone like her. Anyone who would take the blame of a friend's death didn't deserve to be beaten by these animals. That's when I heard footsteps outside a door.

"What is going on?" A snarling voice yelled.

"Come here!" I said to get their attention away from the others. "I've got some news for your masters that they're going to want."

"Oh yeah. What information is that?"

"Come closer and I'll tell you." At my words Snarling Voice opened my door. The first thing I noticed was a scar across his top lip, the second thing was his blacksmith's apron covered with blood. All I had to do was imagine that blood as Thalia's and I was so filled with rage that my vision took a slight red tinge to it.

I spat insults at him that were guaranteed to make any normal man so filled with rage that he would have to beat the speaker. I told him my insults with confidence and arrogance in equal measure as I prepared myself for a fight against him and his two goons.

As I had planned they attacked in a rage against me and I quickly overpowered goon 1 and took his sword and dagger. Both goon 2 and Scar Lip stepped back. As I killed goon 1, goon 2 attacked but his robes caught fire. That's when I saw a hand dart back into a cell. I quickly killed goon 2 and turned to face Scar Lip.

He tried to flee but I took the dagger I had 'borrowed' and buried it in his back. After the dangers were passed I looked around the hallway and saw room after room lined with doors just like mine. This hallway led to one dead end and one staircase. I grabbed the keys from goon 1 and started opening the doors. Most of the rooms were empty but I knew that there were at least two other prisoners here so I kept checking every cell only sure of one that held someone.

I reached the man/boy's door first. At my first glimpse of him I was shocked. He was Denai[1], which explained the fire, and young. By his looks he might have been fifteen but with the Denai it is always hard to tell. He didn't speak, he just took off down the hallway to the stairs were Scar Lip had fallen.

_'This is the only door left. It must contain Thalia.'_ Were my thoughts as I approached the end of the hallway.

I opened the door, not quite sure what to expect but what I saw wasn't it. I saw standing next to the door a girl with long raven-colored hair and the bluest eyes I had ever seen. They reminded me of the one time I had seen the ocean, they were so blue. She was also short, the top of her head barely reached my shoulder. Next, I noticed her body was blotted with bruises and cuts and what looked like an infection in one of the cuts on her arm and I also saw that she started to sway from side-to-side from starvation or dehydration. I knew that if she couldn't make it by herself that I wouldn't be able to keep my vow of getting her out of here because I wasn't strong enough to fight and to carry her safety.

"Come on." I spat at her. More annoyed at myself for my weakness than at her for hers. After all I had only been here for a few days, she easily looked as if she had been here for months.

"I would if you would move." She replied with just as much fire. For the second time in as many hours of my life I was shocked into doing what someone else wanted without thought. Here a girl was commanding me to do something with as much fire as any one of my SwordSisters[2]. I almost sighed in relief because that meant that these cravens hadn't broken her spirit just beaten it back for a time.

Once Thalia was in the hallway she followed the path that the boy had taken. I followed close behind her, still amazed that one so small hadn't been broken her first day in this hell. As we walked past goon 2 I noticed that he was still smoking slightly and so I took a torch from the wall and set him and goon 1 on fire to destroy this hell on Earth.

I reached the top of the staircase and watched Thalia have an internal battle with herself. I could tell which way led to freedom by the smell of fresher air coming from the tunnel on our right but she kept glancing to the tunnel on the left as if to see if a friend would come out. I realized that she hadn't believed that man and that she still harbored hope for the girl, her friend Cammie. I do not know what came over me but I pushed her toward the right and told her to go. That I would check the left.

She looked at me with her crystal blue eyes and gave me a brilliant smile, she than turned around and ran into the right tunnel. By this point the smoke from the fire I had set was reaching its way up the wooden stairs and making it hard to breathe.

I took off down the left tunnel. The tunnel went on and on and the stench of fire and bodies became nearly overwhelming but I pressed on because I knew that I wouldn't be able to look Thalia in the eye again and lie.

I wondered at the thought of seeing her again_. 'I'll never see her again. So what's the point in checking further? Could you face her again and know that you didn't do as you promised?'_ Were my revolving thoughts so still pressing forward with a determination that would have surprised even my mentors.

I reached the end of the tunnel and found an open door. I stepped into the room and looked around. Nothing could have prepared me for the instruments of torture and death that I saw. Implements designed to wreck agony upon its victim, but still keep them alive, were lined up next to a machine that looked strangely beautiful. It was shaped like a butterfly but made of iron with straps of leather connected to it. The air smelled so heavily of rotting flesh and blood that not even the smoke from the fire could dampen it. I took one more look around, looking for a body, or a girl, anything to report back to Thalia. In the far corner I saw a little bundle and so I moved towards it, almost without thought. I approached the bundle and knew that this was Cammie and that Thalia would never be seeing her friend again.

With my inspection of the torture room completed I ran out of there and raced to the tunnel that would take me out of this waking nightmare. The smoke was unbearable and when I reached the cross roads between the tunnels and the stairs I could see that the flames were coming and coming fast.

As I ran down the final tunnel I noticed that the ceiling was getting lower and lower. As I stooped I looked behind me and saw the racing flames.

I made it to the end of the tunnel and boosted myself up and out of the hole. As I coughed and caught my breath I looked around and noticed that I was in a stable with no horses. I stepped out of the stall that I was in and looked around.

There in the next stall over was the boy I had helped escape earlier, lying in a widening pool of his own blood. I searched frantically for Thalia but I couldn't find her. This fact relieved and disappointed me. It relieved me because I knew that she hadn't been killed by whomever had killed the boy but it disappointed me because it meant that I wouldn't be able to see her before I left for my home.

Shaking off these strange emotions I headed out. After about half a mile an excruciating pain shot through my body. It felt like a branding iron was being pressed to my skin and was leading me the opposite way I wanted to go. I tried to keep walking through the pain, as I had been taught, but the pain didn't abate if anything it got worse the more I struggled against it. Throughout the night I tried everything I knew to stop the pain but the only thing that worked was to follow the direction it was tugging me.

Giving up on trying to fight this agonizing pull, I took off in the direction it pulled me toward. It led me to a well hidden campsite by a river. As I searched for clues to whomever this campsite had belonged to I saw horse tracks that led to the city named Haven. Deciding that I was going to get answers to this mysterious pull I took off on foot in the direction of Haven.

During this journey I carefully monitored the Pull for any signs that it would change, it didn't. The Pull kept steadily going in a monotonous line. By the time I reached an inn night had descended and the Pull had stopped its incessant tugging.

* * *

><p>1. Denai: A race with amazing abilities. They stand out from other races because of their inhuman beauty. They are slowly going extinct for unknown reasons.<p>

2. SwordBrother/SwordSister: A clan of warriors/assassins that have cut themselves off from the world and live in seclusion. They are widely known for their fighting and strategic abilities. If one were to stubble upon the clan's hideout you wouldn't be leaving alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Iron Butterfly or its characters Chanda Hahn does.

A/N: Please read and review!

Kael's POV:

Deciding that I may as well explore and spy upon the inn and its occupants I got to work. The stables were just that: stables. No hatches that led to underground torture rooms. The first floor contained the innkeeper and his family, nothing too terribly exciting, talking with two men. Now these men, I should really say man and boy, caught my attention. The man was dressed as a traveling bard or troubadour with the full costume stitched of different colors, an earring, and even a goatee but he had a look to him that reminded me of guards who dressed as citizens in order to protect their charges without drawing attention to them. The boy was definitely Denai, probably from a ruling house because of how handsome he was and how much power seemed to radiate from him, and most likely the one the guard watched over in his unassuming costume.

I listened to the conversation for a while, nothing of particular note, when the innkeeper's wife got up and went upstairs. When she came back she had her son grab a bathing tub and they both set off for the stairs again. The lad kept coming back for more and more water. I waited until the bathing tub came back down the stairs with the innkeeper's wife before I explored the second floor. All of the rooms were empty except for one.

The shutters had been thrown open when I had started my investigation and decided to leave it for last. I crept towards it with caution, when I heard a familiar female voice swearing and a drop. I looked in the window to see Thalia on the floor covered in blankets on the floor. She rubbed her head and told herself that it was only a dream. After she calmed down she went back to sleep but she didn't get back on the bed, she stayed on the floor and promptly fell back into a restless sleep.

I moved away from the window with questions swirling through my mind. Thalia looked almost healed and I couldn't help but noticed that she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen_. 'She looks as if she has had weeks to heal, not hours. Is she Denai? She is beautiful enough to be but I don't get the feeling of power from her like I do from other Denai. How did she get here? Does she know the innkeeper? What about the Denai boy?'_ I decided that if I wanted answers than I would have to do some more sneaking and eavesdropping. I went back to the first floor and went to the window that the traveling man and the Denai boy had foolishly sat underneath.

"Do you think Thalia will be safe in Haven?" The Denai asked.

"I hope so. If she isn't than there isn't a place in Calandry that is safe for her. If she isn't than maybe I should take her to Sinnedor after all." I scoffed at the traveling man's ideas. Of course she won't be safe in Calandry. _'There is only one place in this world were Thalia will truly be safe and that is at my home, with me, under my constant supervision. Did these fools really think that they could protect her better than a SwordBrother?'_

These thoughts stopped me cold. How could I even think of taking an outsider to the sanctuary my people had built for themselves after Link? But at the same time the thought of Thalia with me, under my protection, and away from those who would hurt her felt right, like nothing had in a long time. It also sent a warm feeling throughout my body, imagining her with my people and knowing that all of them would protect her to their dying breath just as I would. With this new idea of keeping her safe tucked in the back of my mind I paid more attention to the conversation happening inside the inn.

"Is it wrong to pity her?" The Denai asked.

"No, Joss, but you shouldn't ever tell her or let her think that you pity her. I get the feeling that she would rather have kept her simple explanation of running away and falling into the river than ever have us pity her. Pride is the only thing she has left." The man said.

"I feel responsible for her if I hadn't healed her than she would be dead. Between the beatings and the dip in the river she would be dead Darren." This news shocked me. My Thalia would be dead if this Denai, Joss, had left her. Strangely, I felt gratitude to him for keeping my Thalia safe while I caught up to her.

"I know Joss. But not everyone wants pity. Let us move on to more pleasant topics. How was the music and the company of a certain innkeeper's daughter tonight?" The one called Darren asked.

"Good but it would have been better if Thalia could have joined us." Joss said. A dark emotion swept through me that he kept thinking of my Thalia when the conversation had been changed. I swept this emotion into the Box [1]I created to examine later along with this conversation.

"I don't think she's ready for something like that and besides I don't think Vienne would have appreciated the intrusion." Darren chuckled.

"Maybe not but her joy in the simple things would have made the experience unique and she doesn't fawn over me like the others do."

"No, no she doesn't does she." Darren sighed. "The girl is a pleasant conundrum. Are you going to treat her like you do the other girls your age?" Darren asked nonchalantly but I could tell by his tense shoulders that he wanted the answer badly but didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

"Not until she is fully healed. I don't want to hurt her when she's like this. And who knows maybe she's Denai and it could turn into a lasting relationship." Joss said. At his words I felt rage boil inside of me. How dare he think to use my Thalia for his own pleasure? Didn't he know what she had gone through? The torture sessions alone would have broken this boy on his first day. I knew that my Thalia had taken many sessions and still she survived beaten but never broken. Didn't he know how special that was to find in a warrior much less in a woman who barely reached five feet and maybe weighed one hundred pounds soaking wet! I felt my gratitude toward him dissipate and feed my rage. But I didn't show any outward sign of my rage but I let rage fuel my determination to keep my Thalia safe. I was so focused on my own rage that I almost missed Darren's reply.

"Joss, I don't think that that is a good idea. I'm not saying to leave her completely alone, but I advise to start with friendship and see if anything occurs. Don't try to seduce her. The poor child has been through enough without you playing with her heart as well." Darren replied. I was grateful to him for standing up for my Thalia but inwardly scoffed at his mention of her being a child. What she had gone through had aged her faster than time, making her not just a warrior in spirit but a woman not to be trifled with.

Joss sighed like a child that had been given a fierce scolding. "If you think that that is best than I will follow your advice, my friend."

I couldn't take any more of this conversation and went in search for a place to rest until morning. The hayloft I had spied in the stables earlier seemed promising. As I climbed up to the loft I opened my Box. _'When had I started thinking of her as mine? Should I take her to my home or wait to see what this Pull was?'_ My questions had no answers and so I turned over and fell into an exhausted sleep.

My dreams were full of fire, death, and screams. In my dreams I knew that it was my Thalia screaming and that I had to reach her no matter the cost. I found corridors and ran through the door that held her screams. As I crossed the threshold of the torture room her screams abruptly ended and everything looked brighter, better. I around the room looking for her but I couldn't find her. I had arrived at a lifebond[2] ceremony and as I glanced down at myself I noticed the traditional lifebond clothes on myself. I turned around hoping to leave this nightmare in order to continue the search for my Thalia and what I found made me speechless. There my Thalia stood in my people's traditional clothing, looking like the happiest woman on this Earth. She smiled at me and flung herself into my arms. I caught her and the look she gave me sped my heartbeat and had me wishing the ceremony was over so we could be alone. A voice called her name and as she looked over her smile faded, replaced with loathing and sadness. I glared at the voice that had put that look into her eyes and to my shock saw Joss in traditional Denai clothing. My Thalia took reluctant steps away from me and took Joss's hand. She looked at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen and said:

'Be free Kael. Enjoy it for the both of us.'

The dream instantly vanished as I jolted awake to voices approaching the stables. I heard Joss talking.

"You could ride with me Thalia." Joss answered and again I felt that dark emotion combined with rage rise inside of me.

"No. I think I'll keep riding with Darren to Haven." My Thalia said, dismissing him. Immediately that dark emotion vanished with gratitude that I wouldn't have to watch her ride away from me in the arms of this monster. I watched as she walked over to the other horses and tried to mount. She struggled and I noticed pity in Joss's eyes. I wanted to help but I kept hidden not wanting to make my presence known.

Joss walked over and helped her into the saddle as Darren walked over. Both Darren and Joss swung easily onto their horses and took off in the direction of Haven. I came down from the hayloft and started to leave the stables when the Pull took me. The pain wasn't as bad as yesterday but was still noticeable. It continued to tug me toward Haven following the tracks that my Thalia's group had made.

As I traveled I wondered if this Pull was connected with her and if it was what did it mean? As I walked I decided that now would be a good time to examine that dark emotion I had whenever Joss talked about my Thalia. I compared it to my other SwordBrother's reactions to someone talking about their lifemate[3] or to a charge that they had been bounded to. I realized that I had only seen it once and it was when he was jealous. It had been when the girl I had hoped to lifebond with started to see another man. As I thought about his reactions I was sucked into those terrible memories:

The sun shown bright in a beautiful clearing. My best friend and twin, Jake, and I were talking about my upcoming lifebond ceremony when we saw my intended mate, Kayla, walk towards us. Due to hunting trips and other contracts my womb-mate had taken, they had never met. Jake's behavior instantly changed to one of aggression and he seemed possessive of Kayla. I wondered what was happening and asked if he was alright.

"She's mine, Kael. Don't touch her or I will kill you." Was his response.

"Jake, this is Kayla my intended mate. You cannot claim her." I said in a soothing voice as if speaking to a wounded animal.

My twin snarled and just repeated the word mine over and over again under his breath. I also noticed that as Kayla approached she had eyes only for Jake with a look of trust and happiness that she had never shown me. I thought about both of their reactions and realized that they were destined mates[4]. Jake was showing jealousy and possessive anger at the thought that Kayla would be mine and I saw Kayla's eyes turn sad as she glanced at me realizing that she would never be with Jake if I didn't stop our ceremony. I took this all in and pushed back the grief and heartache that threatened to bring me to my knees.

Kayla would never want me. The one woman I had loved for years didn't love me back and would never be able to forgive me if I took her from Jake. And Jake, my best friend and womb-mate, would never be able to look at me again if I took Kayla away from him. I would lose the two people in my life whom I cared about the most if I went through with the lifebond ceremony I had dreamed about for years.

I stepped away from them and said, "I see that you are destined mates. Kayla, I release you from your oath." The relief on both of their faces cut me almost as much as the grief of never holding Kayla in my arms. I had to get out of here.

They both called out me to wait as I rushed to my tent but I couldn't stand to see them together after all I had done for Jake and all I had suffered in order to be with Kayla.

Later that night after the shock had worn off and I laid there trying to keep my emotions under control I made a vow to never love again. To never allow anyone to see my emotions. To keep myself numb. That night I built walls so strong and hard around my heart that not even the Pull of a destined mate would affect me. I left that morning and went off to enter into contracts that tested my skills as a warrior and as an assassin.

Only a year had passed since my self-induced numbness before I was drugged and put into the back of a cart to be transported to a living hell. Where I met my Thalia and started to feel again.

I snapped out of my memories and thoughts to see Haven, the capital of Calandry, a mile away. As I approached I noticed that the Pull was almost nonexistent and that as I thought of staying in the city it stopped tugging me completely, seeming content that I agreed to stay.

I had only been to this city once or twice in my life and I still found the wide range of colors on the buildings annoying and distracting. I walked through the crowds and walked into the home my clan kept here in case of an emergency. I spotted the collections of weapons that were stashed here and sighed in relief that I would be armed beyond the dagger I had taken from the dead goons.

I outfitted myself and though about my options. _'I could test the boundary of this Pull and see who or what I'm connected to. I could take jobs within the city, which would keep me close to my Thalia.'_ These ideas appealed to me so I took off to ascertain the extent of my range. I was careful what I thought in order to not influence the Pull to tug me back.

I got as far as the outer walls before the Pull tried to tug me back and so I paced around the city to see if it was the same throughout. Night had fallen long before I reached my starting point again and observed that the Pull hadn't varied on my trek around the city. This proved that the center of the city was were the tether for this Pull was. Reaching the center of the city wouldn't prove too difficult because all roads led to it and the crowds had returned to their houses.

Looming at the center proved to be the one place I never wanted to enter, the place of Denai and royal power: The Palace. Of course it would be in that building! When had my luck ever been good enough to avoid that death trap!? I looked deep inside myself in hopes of locating the exact place the Pull directed me towards. What I found was surprising. Mentally I found a golden thread that pulled me toward another mind.

* * *

><p>[1] Box: a method of remembering things. If created correctly a person could remember every event they had ever seen. Kael uses it in order to tuck away reactions, conversations, and emotions during a mission and to review them afterwards.<p>

[2] Lifebond: similar to marriage except that divorce is not an option. Traditional clothes are common but not required. Each culture has their own version of traditional clothing.

[3] Lifemate: term used for people who have a lifebond or when destined mates find each other.

[4] Destined Mates: two people who chose each other in the spirit realm to be together before birth. They instantly recognize each other upon meeting. This only happens in the SwordBrother Clan because of a promise the Goddess made them after they had suffered much loss due to the greed and corruption of other nations. It is rare but not unheard of.


	3. Chapter 3

Dislcaimer: I do not own Iron Butterfly or its characters, Chanda Hahn does.

A/N: Please read and review.

The mind I encountered was covered in darkness, pain, and fear but beneath all of that was a purity and a hope I had never seen before. Ignoring the emotions I tried to get the mind to tell me its name. It didn't want to relinquish its secrets willingly but gave in to my pushing and the name it gave me took my breath away.

_'Thalia. I am Thalia.'_ It whispered back to me. _'Who are you? Can you help me?'_ Her voice whispered back to me.

_'You know me, my Thalia.'_ I said, unable to call her anything else but that within my mind. _'And I will always protect you.'_

_'But can you help me? Can you replace the memories of pain, blood, and fear?'_ She asked me again, continuing to whisper to me.

_'I cannot replace them but I can help you to remember that you are free. Just call to me while you sleep and I will guard you in your dreams as I do in the waking world.'_ I promised her. I could hear sobbing across our link and I grew worried about her.

_'Thank you, Warrior. Thank you.' _She sobbed to me. At her words I ached to hold her, to comfort her in any way I could. _'I shall sleep more peacefully knowing you are watching over me.'_

_'Sleep, my Thalia, sleep. I will watch over you.'_ At my words I could feel her relax into a deeper sleep. I pulled myself out of my meditation and walked to the safe house. I ate and pondered what I had learned over the last two days:

1. Thalia and I were in Haven, the capital for all Denai

2. Somehow Thalia and I were linked and it resulted in the Pull that tormented me

3. The Pull only allowed me to away from her for about a mile before it tried to tug me back

4. I felt possessive, protective, or aggressive whenever I was close or thought about Thalia

5. I would protect Thalia in whatever world she needed me to if it would lead to that dream where Thalia and I were bonded

This last point angered me. _'She isn't mine to want, much less protect.'_ One side of me whispered. _'But you still want her just like you did in that dream. Don't you?_' My other side taunted. Bringing with it images and feelings of my Thalia safe in my arms to prove a point.

As I sat there looking out the one window in the building I watched the sun rise, ignoring the increasing urge to deny the half of me that said my Thalia wasn't mine, and I looked deep inside myself for the thread that connected me to my Thalia and noticed that she was looking for me in her sleep.

_'What is it, my Thalia? Have the nightmares returned tonight?'_ I asked, preparing to comfort her from her violent memories.

_'Not tonight. I just wanted to make sure you were real, my Warrior. I was worried that I had created you within my mind to help with the nightmares.'_ I never wanted her to stop calling me her warrior.

_'I am as real as you are. I eat, breathe, work, and fight just as you do.'_

_'I don't fight.' _She replied with what sounded like shame in her mind.

_'My Thalia, if you didn't fight, if you didn't have spirit, you would be dead. That hellhole would have killed you just like it did all those others. Never doubt yourself.'_ I could tell that if we had been talking face-to-face that she would have been embarrassed but I needed her to know that her strength had been witnessed and that I admired her for it.

_'Will we meet in the waking world, my Warrior?'_ She said instead of acknowledging my comment.

_'Not unless you are in danger, my Thalia. And even if we were to meet face-to-face I wouldn't be able to treat you the way I do in our minds.'_

_'Why?'_

_'There are those that would happily kill me or you if they knew how much your safety meant to me.'_

_'I understand. I have to go, I cannot keep this connection and be awake at the same time and it's time for me to go to work.'_

_'Goodbye, my Thalia. Until you need me.'_

_'Than I shall hear from you tonight my Warrior.' _This time she pulled back from our connection and I stayed hoping to hear her conscious thoughts but all I could from the link were vague feelings. It seemed that my Thalia could only talk to me in her dreams and she probably didn't know I was alive.

Pulling myself out of my meditation I started to practice and get used to the new grips of my weapons. It didn't take very long for them to not only feel comfortable but for them to feel natural in my hands. Sheathing all of my weapons I decided to go and get a few jobs to occupy my daylight hours while I planned what to do with my Thalia and the Pull that night.

Over the hours I did little jobs over the city that gave me enough coins to last me a week or two with careful planning. After my last job of helping a merchant stock his cart, shop, and shed I went to back to the palace in order to see if it would be possible for me to enter and leave without notice. The security for this place was so lax that it was almost comical for me to find an entrance and a different exit within twenty minutes of starting my investigation of the palace._ 'Well-guarded my ass. A child could break in with little difficulty.'_

After I found my route for the palace I went back to my temporary home near the city walls to eat.


End file.
